In a society where many women put on a convincing front, portraying themselves as genuinely confident, by waking up extra early to put on a full costume, it is hard for other women to relate and see themselves in her.
I challenge you to be the majority.
The majority of women who speak life into others and who comfort others in their struggles affirming that they are not alone. Life’s obstacles are rough and tougher to overcome alone.
The most common obstacle women share is low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem causes some women to compete with each other for attention, confirmation of their superiority, or confirmation that what they are doing matters more than who they are.
There is no definitive answer for where low self-esteem comes from because it is a combination of things that make women feel ugly. Those things range from the depiction of a woman in the media, how the woman was raised, where the woman is from, what struggle the woman has endured, who the woman had to face and conquer etc. When you combine all of those things with living paycheck to paycheck to pay off debts, paying bills, missed opportunities and the lack of emotional support you will see that women are worn out.
The last thing the next woman needs is to be knocked down by another, no matter how confident she may appear.
Women are tired. Tired of acting. Tired of trying. Tired of working. Tired of supporting those without reciprocity. Tired of posting the edited versions of flawless photos. Tired of competing with our male-counterparts who do less work but make two to three thousand more a month. Tired of eating lettuce and meal prepping when donuts taste better. Tired from staying up all night and getting up early. Tired of doing the dishes. Tired of washing the clothes.
Tired of wearing the costume.
One thing women won’t do though, is give up. Just as it is, every woman should face each day with new strength knowing that they will overcome. Some women cannot do so when they can only carry-over what they have faced the previous day. Do not make this harder for the next by projecting yourself and your negative views to antagonize that woman to fit your narrative.
Make room for every woman to feel comfortable being herself, doing her own thing and communicating how she feels in a conducive manner. In that the next woman will see that she is no different from the rest. In that, you will see that she is no different from you.
Should it really take a heart to heart and tearful conversation for all women to see that the majority of us are just alike? No.
If you quit fronting and save the costumes for Halloween you’ll be able to see the world clearly. You’ll be able to look around and recognize other women for who they are and not who you need them to be to make you feel better about yourself. You will see that they struggle with the same things you are struggling with.
You will also see in them, the same determination in you.
They will be your reminder of the woman’s collective inability to give up. A reminder that women are the light and dark to this world.
For most, I want to you that you can do anything that you set out to do and work hard for, I want to yell out, “You got this sis!” but then I don’t. I sit back and I say my prayer, then I go write about the strength of these women and find through my words that I am also inspiring myself.
So as my words inspire me, I hope that they inspire you in return. The struggle that you may be facing is not the extent of your existence but a mere stumble in the road on your path to fulfilling God’s destined plan for you. It is not our struggles that hinder our growth, it is our struggles that enable our growth.
Retire the costume and say a prayer for your true self. Say a prayer for the next woman to embrace her true self.
A prayer for my sisters:
I pray that you continuously work hard to get where you want to be in life. I pray that no obstacle is ever tough enough to hold you back. I pray that no matter how tired you are that you will always get the job done. I pray that you always find the inner strength. I pray that the well wishes you speak for the women around you, the women you do not know or the women who have touched your life in some way, also reach you.
– Star Candelaria